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"Be the Change You Wanna See in This World"

     I don't know how to describe this phase I am in. I feel as if I need to be in monster mode and attack anyone that gets in my way. Of course, that's not civil, but why should I be civil when people have treated me with abuse all my life? From verbal, physical and mental abuse, I have fought many battles within and held things inside. I realize people aren't going to love me anytime soon so in the meantime why not love myself and try to be there for me instead? The middle school I went to was such a nightmare, that I had to basically cry and beg to my parents every day to not let me go there. They still made me go anyway, because education is important in our family and for the life that is ahead. I'm 18 now, looking back and wish I enjoyed every second of middle school because besides the kids giving me a hard time, I was the main bully and bargain in the way. I was such a meanie to myself when I already faced that treatment for so many others. I did not deserve to be treated like that. I am slowly growing respect for myself because even though I am not a perfect human being, I am so much more than what I have been led to believe. 

    I wish I could go back in middle school and be a part of all those sports and root for myself to push limits I have never thought of before in athletics. I feel like in college I can make that change that I have yearned for so long. I've wasted my entire childhood worried about what people will think of me and now, I am a grown woman. A growing woman and a wonder woman! Watch out....

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